Making Your Wedding Matter
Of the 100+ weddings that I’ve been to, I have definitely seen some doozys. Thankfully they are few and far between. However, it would be careless for me to merely accept the fact that there are doozy weddings and simply get over it.
For every wedding I photograph, two incredibly beautiful and unique human beings have decided to merge their lives together and become a united team. Let’s not lose perspective here: This is a big deal!
With the stakes being so high, it’s imperative that couples keep the focus on the marriage ahead, rather than the glamour of the wedding. Of course, most people want to kick off their marriage with a full-blown, dance-until-your-feet-hurt kind of party. I, for one, am a big fan of these weddings. But before we get too carried away, I urge anyone planning their wedding to make sure they have considered the following…
Why does your marriage matter?
Why are you getting married? In today’s day and age, marriage is no longer a foregone conclusion for every couple. In fact, more and more couples are choosing to remain in lifelong relationships without ever saying “I do”.
Does marriage have a religious or cultural significance to you? Is it an important step in starting/growing your family? Or perhaps you want to celebrate the security of knowing you and your partner will grow old together.
In my opinion, answers like “just to keep her happy” or “I guess it was the next thing to do” are massive cop-outs! Getting married should be a mutual, enthusiastic decision. Remember what we agreed earlier: being married IS A BIG DEAL! So be sure to treat it like one from the get-go.
This is where practical wedding planning comes into play. We’ve established the motivation behind your marriage. With that in mind, there’s a bunch of things you can do to make sure you don’t get consumed by the “zilla” inside you.
Your Top 5
Sit down with your partner and pick the 5 most important things you want out of your wedding. Live music and quality photos are at the top of my list. (Yes, I’m biased because I’m a photographer. But I feckin believe in the value of what I do!)
The guest list
As of right now, you have my permission to not invite anyone you haven’t had a decent conversation with in the last 2 years. Keeping on theme with “what matters”, make sure the people at your wedding are the people who matter.
There’s a well-known phenomenon called “post-wedding blues” which is a form of depression that is due to the excitement from the “big day” wearing off. During your pre-wedding planning, think about other projects you’ll work on once it’s all over. Getting married can consume a lot of your own headspace, so it might be nice to do some things for others when you have a bit more time.
Here’s a list of charities in NSW you could volunteer for when you get home from the honeymoon.
On that note, the environment is really important to me. And hopefully, if you’re reading this, you are too! Be sure to check out some of my suggestions on ways to reduce your carbon footprint at your wedding.
To wrap up, I believe every couple owes it themselves to pause, step back and take stock of their relationship. Asking the question “why are we getting married?” should be the first thing agreed upon before the hunt for a wedding venue or wedding photographer has begun.