Sydney Wedding Photographer

06.11.19

Belle & Layne – Shellharbour DIY Wedding

Belle & Layne’s wedding was entirely an expression of who they are and how they love. The amount of community involvement in putting the day together showed how much they value and rely on the people in their circles. The DIY elements of the day, including Belle’s dress, articulated their creative spirits. And ultimately, the prioritisation of making memories over “being trendy” was a clear assertion of their “IDGAF” attitude in life.

Although both of them had newly relocated to Kiama when they met, it’s a wonder how much of a community they have built for themselves since arriving. The wedding was hosted on the property of a family friend and the flowers designed by an old floristry colleague of Belle’s. I, too, count it an honour to have been at this wedding not only as “photographer Hank” but also as “friend Hank”.

Belle & Layne chose to play their cards close to their chest when it came to announcing the wedding. In fact, they didn’t announce it was a wedding until guests arrived at the property.

You’ll find oodles of wedding inspiration in these images ahead. But one thing I’ll say about these two humans is their ability to completely buck the trend and do what makes them happy. Many of the choices around the wedding day are extremely unique. This kind of uniqueness is one of the elements I love about my job: every wedding is different. Every couple expresses themselves differently.

And on that note, I present Belle & Layne’s wedding: full of creative expression and full-on emotions.

“So, Layne thinks we met in August 2017 at my brother’s birthday party in Coffs Harbour. I’m pretty sure I would have remembered him though! Instead, I remember meeting him when I drove down to Kiama and stayed with some friends for a weekend to start moving some things down in November 2017. He happened to be having a trial week at a job down here at the same time. He was moving down from Coffs, great timing really. He got out of the car and he was wearing a bright orange long-sleeved top and he had a freshly completely shaved head, it was awesome! I also noticed his incredibly muscly arms. Thank God for strong men!”

“I love the fact that Belle doesn’t let anyone push her around, tell her how to dress or how to act. She is one of a kind.”

06.06.19

Reducing Stress in Relationships Whilst Wedding Planning

Let’s talk about reducing stress whilst wedding planning. For those who missed it, Zola released a report that 96% of couples cited wedding planning as “stressful”, with 40% of couples going on to say that wedding planning was “extremely” or “very” stressful.

Although I am not entirely surprised by these statistics, it shows that there is a growing acceptance around wedding planning and how it will impede on your mental health. And I am all about promoting good mental health!! (seriously, I started a charity about it.)

So last week I wrote a piece on reducing financial wedding stress. However, money isn’t the only contributing factor in high-stress wedding planning. So this week we’re shifting gears a little bit. One of the most overlooked sources of stress and anxiety comes from those closest to you. Yes, that right! Today I’m talking about relationships. Reducing stress in relationships while planning your wedding needs to be a high priority, especially if you plan on speaking with these people again after the wedding.

Family

“blood runs thicker than… champagne?”

Reducing stress in relationships whilst wedding planning begins with one word: Ex-pec-tations. Expectations! The key to keeping your relationships with your family from devolving into a nasty game of Hungry Hippos is to be unequivocally clear about expectations as early as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it will be easy. In fact, you might have to have some really uncomfortable conversations with some loved ones early on. Here’s some helpful phrasing to be sensitive to your family members whilst still being assertive about what you want:

“Hey Dad, I wanted to let you know that [Fiancé] and I have made the decision not to invite [Uncle Jerry] to the wedding. We know he means a lot to you, so how about we all go out for a drink once we’re back from our honeymoon?”
“Hey sis, thanks so much for offering to make our bouquets. [Fiancé] and I have made the decision to hire a professional florist instead. I have found a few fantastic options, would you like to come and meet them with me?”

Things to note:

You don’t owe them an apology, so don’t say sorry! Be sensitive to their feelings, but know that they ultimately want the best thing for you.
Be clear and assertive, rather than beating around the bush or delaying the conversation.
Extend them an opportunity to take the next step in the process with you. If they are prone to steamrolling, don’t feel obligated to invite them to meet with your vendors. Instead, consider delegating a low-risk task to them to take ownership of.

Friends

“here comes the Bride, and her 17 best friends”

You do not have to do anything at your wedding because your friends: (a) did it at theirs; (b) begged you to do it so they can live vicariously through you; (c) offered to pay for/organise it. Keeping your friends in the loop is always a great way to invest in those relationships, but ultimately the decisions about the wedding should be you and your fiancé’s to make.

I’ve heard multiple stories of people wanting to “demote” their friend out of the wedding party. This can be a huge point of stress and anxiety if you are worried about the repercussions the might flow on from that conversation. Wedding Wire wrote a fantastic piece about how to navigate the situation. The key thing to remember is that relationships should be more valuable than any wedding dispute you may have, so getting to the root of the problem is a fantastic way of honouring the other person and the friendship you have with them.

Your Fiancé

“a bicycle built for two…”

If anything I say in this blog sticks today, I hope it is this: no wedding, I repeat, NO WEDDING is more important than the relationship behind it. Having disagreements about the budget and guest list are natural and need to be discussed (or argued). However, if planning a wedding has taken your relationship to a place where you are struggling to be with your fiancé, then you may need to rethink what’s important right here.

If in doubt, here are a few questions to ask your partner, and yourself:
(remember that “having a wedding” and “being married” are two different things)

Why are we having a wedding?
Do we want/need to have this kind of wedding?
Is there anything you’d like to change about our wedding plans to make you more excited?
Does our wedding reflect the marriage we want to have?

Henry Paul is a wedding photographer based in Sydney, Australia. Take the first step in reducing your wedding stress by meeting with him. For more information, click here.

05.25.19

How to Reduce Financial Wedding Stress

It’s hard to ignore the link between wedding planning and stress. According to research by Zola, 96% of newlyweds found wedding planning to be stressful. NINETY-SIX PERCENT?! And, surprise surprise, the number one contributing factor was wedding finances. I can’t profess to be an expert, but having photographed over 100 weddings to date, I definitely have some experience under my belt. If you or someone you know is getting married, buckle in.

We’re about to get real.

Here are some of Hank’s hot tips to reduce financial wedding stress.

1. Setting the budget

Ever heard of SMART goals? Well, setting your wedding budget is today’s first SMART goal. Your budget will need to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

First up, it would be unwise to pick a number out of thin air. Let’s be realistic. I’ve taken the liberty of doing some research on your behalf. In 2012, research done by Moneysmart showed that the average cost of a wedding $36,200 AUD. I’ve gone ahead and adjusted that for today’s terms, which equals $41,124 AUD.

Don’t get me wrong, this is by no means an indication of what you HAVE to spend. Merely the average amount that Australian couples are spending as of 2012. I have photographed my fair share of weddings on a budget, and some of them have been extremely intimate and romantic. Likewise, I have photographed weddings with budgets well in excess of $100K. So no matter where you sit on the spectrum, it’s SMART to figure it out sooner rather than later.

Hank’s Hot Tip: Having a single figure is going to be extremely challenging to work to when considering all the purchasing options. I would recommend choosing a bracket (i.e. $40K-$45K) which gives you space to stretch if you stumble across the perrrrrfect wedding dress that is slightly beyond your initial budget.

2. Pick your top 5.

Another SMART goal (sort of). I’ve spoken about this in an earlier blog post, but the reason I mention it again is because of how effective it is. Here is how it works:

You and your partner get together and each writes down your own “top 5” things you want for the wedding. Options could include a photographer (ding ding ding!), food, flowers, makeup, venue, cars, DJ, celebrant, cake, clothing etc.
Then you will compare each other’s top 5, and see what you have in common. If you both wrote down flowers and a DJ, then voila! You already have two that you agree on!
Finally, you will have a conversation about each remaining item you’ve written down until you have a happy compromise. This method will absolutely help reduce financial wedding stress by prioritising what to spend your money on.

Hank’s Hot Tip: For me, I already know that live music is at the top of my list (okay, maybe a photographer is at the top, but I’m trying not to be biased). I wrote an entire blog post about why live music is great at a wedding.

3. Ask your vendors about payment plans

So your wedding is 12 months away. Splitting up payments across 12 months is certainly an easy way to budget appropriately. Be sure to speak with your vendors about their payment terms, and ask if you can make regular payments rather than needing to pay a stack of lump sums 28 days before the wedding.

Payment plans are a win-win for both you and the business owner, as it breaks down your large expenses and it guarantees regular cash flow for the business! Cashflow baby! This is why I have made payment plans the default option for all of my new clients.

WARNING: Don’t let the lure of “Afterpay” and similar setups put your finances in a compromising position. Paying off your wedding should never be more important than rent and food on the table.

Extra tips:

Open bar? Consider limiting the choices of bevvys you are willing to pay for. Perhaps keep the 50-year-old Glenfiddich off the list.
Got a lot of mouths to feed? Consider a vegetarian menu. Both your wallet and the planet will thank you for it.
In fact, there are plenty of eco-friendly decisions you can make regarding your wedding which will also help your bottom line. Read more about how to plan an environmentally friendly wedding here.

Henry Paul is a wedding photographer based in Sydney, Australia. You can find out more about him here.

Sources:

https://www.zola.com/blog/wedding-planning/science-wedding-planning-stressful/

https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/life-events-and-you/life-events/getting-married/how-much-can-a-wedding-cost

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05.14.19

Jonathan & Simon – Country Manor House Elopement

Escaping to the country has never felt so good.

No really, it has literally never made me feel as good as it did on this particular trip. Given all of the emotions that are associated with a typical wedding, the atypical-ness of this particular union only amplified those “feels”.

“I love that Simon is intelligent and always extremely thoughtful of everyone else. I love the way he loves me.” – Jonathan

Rewind to December last year when Jonathan & Simon came and visited me at my studio in Newtown. They simply strolled down the road from their home, walked through my front door and right into my heart.

They told me they met through work. They told me that Jonathan was courting Simon for quite a while, however, Simon was slow to pick up on the clues. They told me that they shared their first kiss at a work Christmas party. And they shared their desire to be married, in a low-key fashion, surrounded by their closest mates.

Anybody who knows me knows how much I resonate with “low-key” when it comes to celebrating a marriage. I am particularly drawn to the intimacy and humanity that comes from these kinds of commitments. It is also worth acknowledging that Jonathan and Simon have fought an uphill battle in order to have the right to have their marriage recognised in their home country.

The wedding itself did not disappoint. It was classy. It was intimate. There was no single element that did not speak to who Jonathan & Simon are as a couple, and now, as husbands.

“I love Jonathan’s kindness. My favourite sound in the world is the sound of his laugh. He is my big, friendly, sexy giant!” – Simon

To me, this was an exciting opportunity to capture a beautiful couple.
To Jonathan and Simon, this was a significant milestone, a stake in the ground, and an opportunity to celebrate the fabulous relationship they have formed together over the years.

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04.23.19

Reflections on Marriage

I recently approached a few couples whose weddings I photographed recently. I was curious to know how they felt about their marriage, a few months in, and whether they felt marriage was still relevant in this day and age.

Why was it important for you to get married?

“Because it signified an even deeper, stronger and everlasting commitment than just being partners. Marriage means in my eyes that we are together forever and will work through things because we have made that commitment.”

“It was a personal way to express my love for my wife and say to friends and family I will make her a priority in my life. And at the same time, I wanted my friends to keep me accountable, to help make sure I maintain this promise. Life can be hard and things get rough and that’s when you want your friends in your corner to help you fulfil your vows.”

“Because we were just so absolutely perfect for one another. Soul mates, best friends, dancing partners, love of my life!! Also being a same-sex couple it felt nice having that same right as every Hetero couple have always had!”

What is one thing you have learned since being married?

“Clothes go in the basket, not near it… hahahah really though: That happiness in a marriage isn’t when you get your way or what you want but when you champion or encourage your partner for greater or for better and they succeed! And you help them get what they need and want!!”

“I used to avoid eating vegetarian because I thought it had no flavour. Turns out I just never learnt to cook with spices! Learning that skill (from my wife) changed my appreciation for vegetarian meals. That’s just one example of how you are constantly sharing and growing with your spouse.”

“That things feel different to just being partners. It feels better, and we feel stronger just for knowing that we are married.”

“That we can get through anything together. That it’s just like being committed to the best person and constantly waking up and saying… holy shit we are married! I get to love you forever!”

What is your favourite thing about being married?

“Planning for the future with no hesitations, and knowing that life is going to get a whole lot more exciting, difficult and busy with a little baby on the way but that we will get through it.”

“Lower rent? :P”

“My favourite thing about being married so far is having access to an entirely different set of life knowledge and experience at my fingertips. I have become a more rounded person because I have someone to bounce off ideas and challenge the way I perceive the world. We grew up differently; cooked differently, washed clothes differently and we have different opinions on big world issues. I am learning from all of these different experiences.”

“Being able to introduce each other – “this is my wife”. It’s just so amazing!!!”

Is the institution of marriage still relevant in the 21st Century, and if so, why?

“The values of commitment, strength and persistence are still of the essence. Marriage in the 21st century is now more than ever a choice of commitment for love’s sake and an act of equality. It is a way of learning to be a better version of yourself through the qualities you admire in your partner.”

“I think for me, marriage was more than just a commitment. It is binding. It’s something you put effort into, you have to cherish it in order for it to grow. I feel like I would be ready to fight for my marriage: that is stronger than just “having a partner”. I stood in front of friends and family and made that commitment.”

“Marriage is still relevant. In the 21st Century we are so good at just running away from our problems. Being married makes it harder to just exit, discard, walk away from that person. I think that’s more than half of the reason it’s important. If you mean what you say in your wedding vows then it should be hard to turn your back on it.”

I am grateful for my job as a wedding photographer in Sydney. It is never lost on me the significance of getting married.

Having read some of the responses I received, I felt particularly moved by the underlying themes of commitment and discovery. Acknowledging you don’t know everything about the person you are about the marry seems to be a sensible approach, with the anticipation that you have the rest of your lives to learn about each other’s quirks and uniqueness.

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popular posts!

Belle & Layne – Shellharbour DIY Wedding

Reducing Stress in Relationships Whilst Wedding Planning

Family

“blood runs thicker than… champagne?”

Things to note:

Friends

“here comes the Bride, and her 17 best friends”

Your Fiancé

“a bicycle built for two…”

How to Reduce Financial Wedding Stress

1. Setting the budget

2. Pick your top 5.

3. Ask your vendors about payment plans

Extra tips:

Jonathan & Simon – Country Manor House Elopement

Reflections on Marriage

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